Singing

Hi B,

I want to share a little moment we had today. I was rocking you, trying to get you to sleep tonight and you were fussy. You turn your head a lot and grunt. I started to sing you some songs (twinkle twinkle little star, the wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider, etc). After about three songs you opened your eyes, stopped fussing and started "singing" with me. It was so adorable. You did this for 5 or so songs. I stopped singing and you closed your eyes and was asleep within 5 minutes. You even stayed asleep, which you hardly ever do. It was so cute.

We also went to the store today and you were a little fussy before we went. I put you in the front carrier and faced you out for the first time. You didn't fuss one time in the store. You loved looking around at everything. Even though you were tired you just enjoyed our trip to the store. You are so darling!

I love you,

Mom

3 months!

Hi B!

Today is your 3 month birthday. I sang to you this morning and you started crying, but I am assuming it is because you were in the car, not because my singing voice is extremely horrible (although it is). You were very smiley and happy this morning and managed to spit up so much that I had to change my clothes before we left this morning.

You are getting so big! You are 15 pounds 2 ounces and you try to sit up on your own. It looks like you are trying to do baby sit ups. You pull your head up and it really looks like you are trying to sit up. If I sit you up you just fall over, but you like to sit up when I hold you up. You are still not sleeping great, but better than you were. You get up 3-4 times a night on average. Not too bad but I still can't wait until you sleep through the night. You still hate the car and cry every single time we are in the car.

You are doing very well at Krista's house and I think you love all the kids and all the noise. You are always happy when I go pick you up. I think you are very entertained there.

I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

Miss You

Dear B,

I miss you lots today.

Love,

Mom

Back to Work

Dear Bracken,

What a long week. I had to go back to work this week and leave you with the sitter. I think it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is really difficult for me to not be in control of life and knowing you spend 8 hours a day with other people, I feel helpless as to what you are doing and your safety is no longer in my hands. This is really difficult for me. I know I am somewhat over protective and probably always will be. You will have to be patient with me, but it is hard to leave you with anyone for that amount of time. I dont want you watching too much tv or other kids holding you when they aren't being supervised or kids touching you with all their kid germs (which they all do the second you walk in that door) or people bugging you when you sleep or you getting sunburned on too long of a walk or you not getting enough attention (I doubt this will be a problem, everyone there absolutely loves you). There is just so much not in my control and so many things that I wish people were more careful with, but who am I to tell them how to live their lives. I am doing my best to ease up and let it be, but it is tough for me.

You seem to be happy there and have had a great week, so I feel great about that, but I still miss you so much and can't wait to see you at 4 each day. It is miserable at work without you and I have been away from you four times more this week then your previous 10 weeks all put together. I'm struggling with this, but I think it will get easier as time goes on and you get bigger and aren't quite as fragile. I hope it gets easier (at least I'm not crying when I leave the sitters like the first two days). I just don't feel like I see you enough and you have been going to bed so early that I don't get any quality time with you. It sucks.

Love you and miss you!

Mom

Memorial Day

Hi Bracken,

Hi honey. Right now you are napping in your swing after quite the weekend. We went to Moab this weekend, your first camping trip. It was quite the adventure. I was worried about you and the 4 hour car ride, but I admit you did pretty darn good. Fussy on and off on the way down there, but not too bad. We set up a huge tent and you had your own little swing nook. You weren't a big fan of the new swing I bought and took, but you slept in it pretty good.

The second day there you were fussy ALL day and way worse than you have been for weeks. That was stressful and you didn't nap all day. We went on a hike and dad took you in our carrier. It was very cute. You did well on the hike too and tried to nap a little.

On Sunday you did much better and was much happier. We went for a few car rides as dad took us around to show us the place and we went for another hike. You were happy all day and did such a good job. When we got back from our hike I took you into our tent and the wind started blowing. Huge gusts, the strongest wind storm I had ever been in. It took lots of tents right out of the ground and blew them around. It blew the top of our tent so hard that it was laying down on top of us. I laid on top of you to cover you from all the dust blowing in. You actually seemed to enjoy the wind and all the noise it was making. Then their was a huge downpour of rain, which you also seemed to like. We decided to come home on Sunday night and you slept the whole way home. You did such a great job! I am so happy when you have good days and are happy yourself!

I want to share one story I'm sure you will hear when you get bigger.WHile on our hike, we took you down to a large swimming hole. I gave you to dad to dip your feet in the water. He took you and the instant your feet touched the water you let out a blood curdling scream. Yeah the water was cold, but you didn't even think about not crying. It was pretty amazing how fast you let out that scream. We all laughed and not because you were crying, but the whole situation was pretty funny. I'm hoping you take to swimming pools better than you took to that swimming hole, because I would love to go swimming with you this summer.

Thanks for being such a precious baby! I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

2 month appointment

Hi Bracken,

Today we went to your two month appointment. You were actually in a good mood. You cried very little on the way there and you don't particularly like car rides and you were gooing to me while we were waiting and its the first time that you didn't cry when then nurse had to listen to your heart and weigh you. Good job bud!

Then comes the doctor. She jokingly said she would give you up for adoption and you started crying. It was actually pretty funny. Then you didn't want to stop. She did your evaluation and we talked (well tried to talk, but hard for me to concentrate when I'm trying to get you to stop crying) about you and how you are doing. She upped your prevacid to a full pill each night instead of half. You still take Axid twice a day and I give you gas drops during every feeding that you don't take other meds. I hate that you have to take so many medicines and I hate that I'm putting all that in your little precious body. I must say you have been better the last week and a half, for the most part, then you have been (besides two really bad days).

I finally calmed you down and then comes the nurse again. She was thre to give you your immunization shots. There were three shots with six different immunizations. Now I know that no kids like shots and I knew you wouldn't but it was so sad to hear you cry again. You were screaming and it was so heart breaking! Then she gave you the oral vaccination and you kept coughing because you were trying to scream and oh it was so sad. I hate to see you cry.

You fell asleep right after and slept most the way home. We got home and I fed you and held you a while then you slept for 3 hours, got up to eat and are back down for another nap. I think the shots are making you sleepy. Poor guy. When you got up to eat your cry was so sad sounding and you sound so miserable.

We are going to get you a G I Tract test to see how the acid reflux is doing and to see if that is the problem and reason why you are so fussy. We will see how that goes Thursday. I hope its not too miserable!

I hope you are feeling ok though and don't hate me too bad for taking you in to get your shots.

Love you,

Mom

Bathtime

Dear Bracken,

You are finally starting to like baths. Maybe just tolerate them. You no longer cry (not even when I wash your hair, which, by the way is falling out and makes me so sad because it is so cute. I am finding hair in your swing and bed. You still have some that is about 3/4 of an inch at the base of your head but the rest is really thin and you are losing more of it everyday!) but you don't fully enjoy it either. I have some tricks. You like to have the room all steamy and it helps if you have your binki. I use two washcloths to cover you and one to wash with. You like this. I hope you grow to like them more as you get bigger.

Love,

Mom