Merry Christmas Baby!

Dear baby,

Yesterday was Christmas. We visited lots of family! We also drove through some crazy snow storms! Dad did a good job getting us through all the snow! Driving in the snow is not too difficult, if you have a decent vehicle, but people can be crazy out there. There will come a day when I will be worried about you driving out in that snow! I'm sure that day will come much too soon. Just remember to be patient when trying to get through the weather. I'm sure dad will teach you how to drive in it...and he will most likly teach you how to "play" in it.

You got quite a few things for Christmas. You got your first beany baby, a couple bibs, some shoes and booties, socks, pants and a bunch of onsies. Aunt Kelly got you a stuffed monkey that is cute also. You will be quite spoiled. I loved opening your gifts and it made me so excited to have you here for next Christmas! Here are a few picturs.

Here are some cute shoes from Grandma. I love them.

This is your dad and I on Christmas.

I took a picture of you in the morning of Christmas.

Love you,

Mom

Week 27

Dear Baby,

About 90 days to go! We are at week 27. It really is flying by, even though I am definitely ready to have you here! You are getting big and strong and I can definitely tell a difference in my body and my belly getting bigger.

You no longer like me laying all the way on my side. It is painful on my stomach and you seem to "fall" as gravity pulls you down to the side. This is somewhat painful. But I will deal.

You are about 15 inches long and 2 pounds right now. Seems so big! Your eyes are developing and are starting to open them this week. You should have some hair on your head (as long as you don't take after me) and your brain is developing quickly. So many wonderful changes!!

It is almost Christmas. I love Christmas. I love to spend time with family and visit everyone we don't see often enough. I bought you a cute gift and I know a bunch of other people did too. Very nice of them. You are going to be spoiled!

Love You!!
Mom

Alarm Clock

Dear Baby,

You have already started being my own personal alarm clock. Dad leaves at about 5:45 each morning and for some reason, after he leaves you decide to wake mom up. Every day this week you have started kicking at 5:45 and I don't mean small soft kicks. It feels like you are trying to kick your way out of there. Of course I giggle and think it's silly. Then I lay there for an hour and usually turn on the TV because there is absolutely no way I can sleep when you are crazy like that. I love feeling you and will take getting up at 5:45 if I have to, but if you feel you could wait an extra hour, that would be fabulous for me.

Love You,

Mom

Pictures of your nursery

Dear Baby,

So I know I said your nursery was finished last time, but now it is even more finished. I just need to figure out a good name for you and put it on the wall, then get our rocking chair, which I figure we will be spending lots of quality time on. I ordered one that was really comfortable. I think we will love it. Here is your room!

Love, Mom

Nursery

So, we finally got your room all put together today. Your dad and I finished painting and touch ups then grandma came over and helped me put all your furniture together and get everything out. I still need to hang your celing fan and curtains, get a rug and a garbage can, and get a rocking chair, but other than that it is super cute! I hope you love it, I really do!

Dad is out of town this weekend, so it is just the two of us. We did our Christmas shopping yesterday and got family pictures today then worked on your nursery. We are going to put up our Christmas tree tomorrow. We have been busy! I love feeling you kick, especially when dad is gone, it reminds me that you are there and growing and it makes me really happy. I have a hard time being home alone and just knowing you are down there helps keep me calm and happy.

Love you,

Mom

So Thankful for YOU!!

Hi Baby,

Hope all is well down there in the belly! I love feeling you everyday and so much everyday. You kept me entertained last night during class by kicking the entire time. Sometimes school is quite boring, but it was much more entertaining having you moving around down there! Then when I was getting ready for bed last night you were kicking so much that I could feel you on both sides of my tummy. I have felt that before but never so much. It was so sweet and I absolutely loved it. I must say I am pretty attached to you!

Knowing all this, I want you to know how thankful I am to have you in my life. I am so excited to start our family and think you will be such a great addition. I feel like my life is in shambles right now and has been for the last few months. A lot has happened that I'm not thankful for and that has caused me a lot of stress and tears. As I think about the last few months, the one thing that has kept me going and happy is you! I am so thankful you came when you did and it was definitely a gift because the last few months would have been a lot harder if you weren't down there growing! I am so thankful to have you and can't wait until you arrive! About 16 more weeks!!

Hello Sweet Pea

Hi Baby,

We are 22 1/2 weeks right now and you are moving around so much. On Friday night you were flipping and turning and doing cartwheels in my belly. It was so fun to feel you and now I Just keep wanting you to do it again. Then on Saturday I felt you 6 or 7 different times for a long period of time each time. I think you were awake and moving all day! I love feeling you this much!!

You are currently getting eye brows and more hair all over your head. Your body is also covered with a thin layer of hair. I read that you can taste the food that I eat because it goes in the amniotic fluid that you are swimming in and you will occasionally swallow some, practicing your digesting skills. I hope you are liking what I am eating and I am trying to eat quite a variety of foods - minus the meat. Yuk! I wonder if you will take after me or dad in the meat department. I wouldn't eat it if I was dying and dad can't get enough of it. Secretly, I hope you follow me with this, but I really don't care either way!

We are still struggling with your name. Nothing seems to fit or just feel perfect. And dad and I agreeing on the same name is another problem. We got the paint for your nursery this weekend though and I plan on starting to paint today! I am so excited! I hope you feel comfortable in your room and love it! I will fill it all full of love as I am painting and decorating it!

Love you baby! Approximately 123 days to go!!

Love,

Mom

Daddy Felt You!

Dear Baby,

So for the last couple weeks, you have been kicking hard enough for others to feel it if they happen to have their hand on my tummy when you kick. That's the tricky part. So, when I feel you kicking I always tell dad and show him where to put his hand to feel you. Every single time, you stop kicking. I think it is hilarious but dad doesn't think it is that funny. Last night you kicked twice so I told dad, "you might be able to feel him, put your hand here (on my tummy)." So he did and he felt you about 5 times in about a minute. He was very excited and happy to finally be able to feel you! Then you stopped and dad kept his hand there for about 5 minutes, just in case, but there was no more movement. Then soon as he moved his hand, you started kicking again. I laughed. Dad is so happy to have felt you though. He gave you a big kiss after!

I have felt you so much the last 3 days. I think your muscles are getting stronger and your bone is getting harder so it is easier for me to feel you. Plus you are getting much bigger. I love feeling you move around in there! It lets me know that you are alright, so keep it up!!

Love you,

Mom

20 Weeks!

Hi Baby,

We are now officially half way to the big day. Of course there isn't a guarentee on what day you will decide to join us, but I am considered 20 weeks today. So exciting! You have been growing eye brows this week and hair on your head. That is if you don't take after me because I didn't have any hair until I was 2. So we are hoping you take after your father with that.

I still feel you kick. Somedays it is wild and crazy kicking and others it is nothing. Dad really wants to feel you kick and has been trying desperately to get me to eat ice cream every night (even when I already had my daily ice cream earlier in the day) in hopes to give you a sugar rush so he can feel you.

We bought a cute picture frame for you and put your ultrasound picture in it. Our first pictures of you. Here are your ultrasound pictures. Look how cute you are!

I can't wait!

Love you,

Mom

Alcohol

Good Morning Baby,

I want to share my thoughts with you about alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This is a disease that runs strongly in both my side and your dad's side of the family. It is said to be inherited, so something that you could very likely be prone to.

I want to start by saying I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong with drinking, as long as you can control your drinking and control yourself while drinking. We have lots of friends and family who drink and do just fine with it and absolutely love it. I am sure that you will get to a point in your life when you want to test the waters and try it to and may even drink on a social level. That doesn't really bother me. But when drinking you have to know that you have to be able to control yourself.

Recently, I have been exposed to many major conflicts in my life where alcohol has played a major role and there has been trouble and a lot of regrets. I hope that you aren't ever in this situation. I want to promise you that I will never expose you to people who are drinking heavily and I will always protect you! I promise you now that I will never put alcohol before you and will always do my best to make sure that you don't experience any negative effects of others' drinking while you are in my presence.

The major point I'm trying to make here is to make good decisions for yourself and be in control of yourself. It is ok to go out and have fun, but remember to make smart choices. I also vow to make the best decisions in my life so that you can be raised in a happy, healthy environment.

I love you,

Mom

Kick...Whoa!

Hi Baby,

The coolest thing happened last night. I was laying in the bath, reading, and I felt you kick. This is somewhat normal but I thought to myself, "Whoa! That was a strong one." Then I felt it again in the same spot. So I looked down and you kicked me again and I actually saw my belly move!! It was the coolest thing ever!! I waited another few seconds...staring at that spot and sure enough...you kicked me two more times and I saw my belly move.

Although I am hoping and expecting that this will happen a lot during the next 21 weeks, It was so exciting to see for the first time. Thank You!

Love you,

Mom

Big News

Hi Baby,

Well we found out big news yesterday! You are a boy!! Which, I'm pretty sure you already knew, but it was a lot of fun for us to get to see. We went to our ultrasound and the doctor measured a lot of your different body parts and we were able to see that you look pretty healthy. You were moving all over the place. It surprised me that I can't feel you more than I do. At one point your head was down and your feet were up by my belly button. Then at another point the doctor got a side view of you and you were moving your arms all around. You were punching or dancing or something but it was so cute!

I am going to start getting your bedroom ready now and buy you some furniture and bedding and all sorts of stuff. I will try to make it really cute for you!

We are still thinking of a name. We are thinking Bracken but we haven't decided for sure yet and have no ideas for middle names. I think names are so important because it is something you will have to live with and I hope we can find something that you really like. Your dad looked up my name in the baby book and it means "short tempered" and he laughed at me. He thinks it fits me well but I dont completely agree. I promise not to be short tempered with you!!

So relieved to know you are healthy in there!

Love you,

Mom

A Quick Hello

Hi Baby,

We are just sitting here waiting for the oil to get changed in our car. I hope you are ok down there. I think about you constantly. Monday is the big day! We get to see if you are healthy and growing the way you should be and hopefully get to see if you are a boy or a girl. The poll on my blog is pretty even. 11 say girl, 9 say boy. I just really hope you are healthy down there. I worry about you so much. I still have been having sharp pains down there and my back has been really hurting. I hope you can't feel any of this! Wanted to tell you a quick hello!

Love you,

Mom

Side Pain

Hi Baby,

Hope you are well! Last night I went to dinner with dad. We went to Olive Garden and as we were pulling in I started getting the worst side pains. It hurt so bad! It about took me out! I could barely move and it brought tears to my eyes a few times. I think it might have been gas (I hope). I got so worried about you. Then I got the same pain but not as sharp a few times today. I really hope you are alright. I hope you can feel me rubbing you and hear me talking to you. I love you and hope everything is ok down there!

Love you,

Mom

I Think I Felt You!!

Hi Baby,

So, I THINK I have felt you. Not positive, but I have told three people and all of them say it sounds like it. Of course one of them is your dad and how would he know, right? It has been three days in a row though, so the odds are looking good. The first time was on Saturday when I was shopping with Shantel, then on Sunday when I was walking in my bedroom, then last night when I was laying in bed (twice). It just feel like gas bubbles so I haven't been sure but Becky and Linda both say that is what it feels like.

I am really hoping it is you! Feel free to keep on kicking me (for now at least...I will ask you to stop once you come out).

Love you,

Mom

Poll

Hi Baby,

So I just added a poll to my other blog on what people think you will be. A Boy or a Girl?? I am excited to see what people think! I voted girl so right now it is 100% of the votes a girl. But I guess I could vote for dad then it would be 50/50.

I hope everything is going good down there! I have been eating A LOT of icecream and feeling really bad about it...oops?? I try not to, but when I want it I feel like i HAVE to have it. I hope you like chocolate chip because I have wen't through almost an entire bucket...yes, one of those cheep, huge buckets...in a week and a half. I am going to really try to watch it from now on though. I came into this pregnancy knowing that I would eat so healthy and get so many vitamins, but that went down the drain after only a few weeks. I'm going to get back on track though! For you!!

I have also had really bad headaches all week. I have had to take Tylonal three times this week. Although my doctor and everyone else in the world says it is fine, I just would rather you not have it in your system, so I feel really guilty about this too, but they have been REALLY bad. I don't take anything until I have to lock myself in my room and turn off all the lights because it hurts so bad. I hope it isn't affecting you at all though.

I found a really cute crib for you!! I hope you like it. I'm still going to go shopping some more and look around, but I found one online that I liked a lot. Maybe one day you will see it!!

Love you...can't wait to see you and hold you in my arms!

Love,

Mom

2nd Doctor Appointment

Hi Baby,

So I had my second doctor appointment this week. It was so exciting because I got to hear your heart beat again! I was getting really worried about you lately because I have had a lot of turmoil in my life and I was worried that it may have been affecting you. But your heart is beating and it is strong so that is a really good sign. I have gained a few pounds and a few inches, so that is a good sign that you are growing.

I made an appointment for my ultrasound! I will get to find out if you are a boy or a girl that day and also see you for the first time. We will be able to tell if you are healthy and strong. I can't wait. My appointment is on October 20th! It will come soon but still seems like so far away.

I found out that I am healthy as can be. I have no diseases and I have B positive blood, so there is no problem with the Rh factor. I am so relieved and it was a great doctor appointment full of good news. The only bad thing is my doctor told me to take out my belly ring or you would stretch it and it would look yucky after, so I took it out, which is probably for the best because you could start to see it through all of my shirts.

I love you!

Mom

Great Grandma Mattsson

Dear baby,

Hi little one. I have been having a really tough week. There has been so much going on in my life and a lot of stress. I know that you can feel what I feel and it scares me. I want to take care of you and make sure you are healthy. I am doing my best to stay calm and eat often. I hope that you are still ok in there and not feeling as bad as I am.

The worst thing that has happened this week is that your great grandma Mattsson passed away. She is my dad's mom. She is truely a fantastic person and was so excited to be a great grandma. You were going to be the first great-grandchild and she was so excited for you! She would have been such a fabulous great grandma! I know this because she was such a fantastic person and such a wonderful grandmother to me, that I know she would have been so awesome to have as a great-grandmother. I am truely saddened that you wont get to know her. I will teach you about her though and you will know all the wonderful things she did for me and for all of our family. She was so amazing. I hope that you can grow to understand how much I loved her and how important family is. She taught me a lot about family and has showed me through her actions how great it is to have a wonderful family. I hope to pass that on to you also. I always want to have a close, loving family. I would love to teach you as much as she has taught me through the years.

I hope you are safe and well in there.

Love you,

Mom.

12 weeks

Hello little one,

Today I am 12 weeks along. 28 or so more to go. It really is going pretty fast. I have been having a lot of dreams about you lately. You are always a girl (well once you were twins...boy & girl) and you are always really big. Not like a big baby, but you grow into a child in just a few days and I miss you the whole time because I feel like you weren't able to be a baby. You are always talking and last night I was potty training you the first night we brought you home and you were doing it! Crazy dreams. I can't wait to find out if you will be a boy or a girl. I have a feeling you might be a boy. . . if so, sorry about all the girl dreams. But, on the other hand, I hope all the girl dreams are a sign that you are a girl.

I took a picture from my book today that shows about how big you should be today. You are about 2 1/2 inches long and weigh about half an ounce. So small still, but I am definitely getting bigger. I am really excited to start getting big and seeing that you are getting bigger also. All of your vital organs are formed and you now have finger nails. You are pretty much fully developed, just need to get a lot bigger, but you have all your body parts. So exciting!!

Can't wait to have you here,
Love You,

Mom

Heartbeat!

Yestdarday the most amazing thing happened...your dad and I heard your heartbeat! It made me so happy because it really reassured me that you are alive and growing and everything is going fine. He said your heart beat was beating at 175 beats per minute, which is a little on the fast side, but that is ok. He also said it was really strong for me only being 10 weeks pregnant. I am so happy that you are growing so well!!

As of now, you have fingers and toes, elbows and knees that bend, color in your eyes, many of your internal organs and you are really starting to take the shape of a baby. Your brain is developing and you are about an inch and a half long. From now on you will grow at an incredible rate and will get much bigger very quickly.

I told my students about you this week when I went back to work for the school year. They seem to be really excited for you also, but I promise...I won't let them touch you! I can just imagine all those snot/dirt/food covered fingers touching you and I won't let it happen! But they will be able to see me grow as you grow inside me. It will be fun to share that with them. They are most excited, as am I, to find out if you are a boy or a girl. I will find out in 8 more weeks. Your father really wants you to be a boy and I really want you to be a girl, but we will both love you and be happy regardless of what gender you are! (But if you will work on being a girl, you will help me win some money...haha).

Stay safe and keep growing!

Love you,

Mom

Education

Good afternoon baby. I hope you are snug and happy today. You are starting to get arms and legs and you are losing your tail. You are starting to look like a real baby and it is so exciting for me and your dad. You also are getting many of your facial features and they ones you already had are getting more defined. You are about dime sized and growing pretty fast.

My night classes start today. I have been thinking a lot about school the last few days as I mentally prepared myself that summer is coming to a close and school, and work, is starting soon. Education is very important to me and I think it is necessary to live and contribute to the society we live in. Most jobs that pay a decent salary require some college or even a degree or two. Although many people are successful at what they do with no college, I think it is becoming more important all the time.

I have been in school since I was in preschool (which I went to for two years) so that puts me at 23 consecutive years of school. 8 of them being in college and one more semester to go. I need to take 3 more classes and then I will have my math endorsement and I am going to quit going to school for a while. It seems really weird to me because school is "what I do" and what I have always done. It seems strange to me to know I will be done and trading in school for mommyhood. Although I am sure I will go back again someday and take classes here and there, and maybe teach some, I am going to be done for now (well, done in December). I hope I am as good of a mommy as I am a student!

Although you will be able to make your own choices in life, I do hope you choose to go to college and further your education. I will do everything in my power to help you love learning and love school from the beginning. I will help you and guide you into being successful. I will read to you daily starting when you are a baby and help you learn to read as soon as you are capable. I hope with that guidance you will learn to love school the way that I always loved school. And more importantly, I hope you become a lifelong learner and continue to learn and love learning for your whole life. Know I will do anything to help you develop this passion.

Love you,

Mom

Week 6

Today I am six weeks along, so you were conceived four weeks ago. One month. I have only known you have been growing in me for a week and a half now. It seems like I have known forever. It is going by so slow. I am sure when birthing time comes it will seem like it went by so fast, but for now, it is dragging by. I am enjoying this time, the best as I can - because you seem to have some negative effects on my body, but I am really trying to savor every moment because I know I can never get this time back. I just can't wait until you are bigger and the risks for miscarriages are lower. I am a very worrisome person and I am sure I will be an extremely worrisome mom, but I promise to try my best to provide you a life with balance. You will have choices, rewards and consequences. You will be disciplined but also encouraged to be yourself and have fun. There will be boundaries but we will want you to live life and push the limits. I hope to provide you with everything you want and need to become a responsible, healthy person.

It's not raising you that is worrisome to me. I know your dad and I will do a good job with that and we will work hard and try our best. I know there will be times we have no clue what to do and we will feel like screaming. I can handle all that. Now, I am just so worried about getting you here. I am worried about miscarriages and birth defects and getting sick. I worry about everything that could possibly effect you right now. It's making me crazy but I am doing my very best to ensure that you are as healthy as I can make you. I'm even trying to occasionally gag down some protein shakes. Yuk.

This week you will be getting bigger. You will also be forming your chin, jaw, nose, ears (holes), cheeks and your brain cavity will be forming. You will start to form lungs and could get up to 1/5 of an inch long. So much is happening right now and that truely amazes me!

Grandma Maez is having a BBQ today for my uncle Bill. He is getting remarried and a lot of our family from grandma Maez's side will be there. I don't think many of them know about you yet, but I plan on telling them all today while we are there. I am really excited. Even though we aren't really close to that side of the family, they are all really good people and I think they will all be excited for us too.

Keep growing.

Love you,

Mom

Week 5

Dear Baby,

Today I am 5 weeks. My books says you will be growing to be the size of an orange seed this week. That is so small, yet so precious! Grandpa Maez said they bought you your first Teddy Bear today. That was nice.

I went on a zip line today. Guess I gave you your first big thrill. It was scary, but a lot of fun. It is ok to take risks and challenges in life, or you won't ever have any excitement.

Love,

Mom

Everyone Knows!

Dear Baby,

So, everyone knows! All of our close friends and family know that you are baking in my belly. You should know that they are all so supportive and they will all love you so much. You are going to have so many loved ones around you that it will probably get overwhelming, but you will love them all, they are all such great people! I have learned during my life experiences that family is the most important and BEST thing in the world. They will always be there for you, no matter what!! I feel really good having you come into this world with a family like that!

Love,

Mom

Spreading the Good News!!

Dear Baby,

Today we continued telling our family about you! Everyone was really excited. We went to breakfast with Grandpa Wootton. He opened the binki bag and it took him a second to figure it out. He seemed a little nervous but was happy.

Then we went to your great grandma/grandpa Mattsson's house to tell Grandpa Mattsson and your great grandparents (that sounds really weird to me) the news. He opened the binki bag and was very confused. He asked, "what is this for?" I asked him if he had any idea what it meant or what it could mean and he said, "no." Then your great grandparents caught on and they were all really excited. You will be the first great grandchild on that side, the first grandchild for Grandma/pa Fratto and first grandchild for Grandpa Mattsson so that is a lot of firsts.

Then we made our way over to Grandma/pa Maez's house. They were unloading from camping so we waited around there forever! Finally Grandma said, "have Savannah open her gift so I can see what it is before I shower." She 'knew' that the gift was for Aunt Savannah because it is her birthday in a few days and it is also our anniversary and we would be too busy this weekend, so we were bringing her gift early. I dont know how she came up with all of that, but she thought she had it all worked out. She was surprised when I gave her the bag to open and once again they were a little confused for a minute. Even after they said congrats and started talking about babies, Savannah said, "I still don't get it." It was really funny.

Overall everything went well and everyone is really happy for us. Over the next week I plan on telling most of my friends and co-workers and neighbors and the rest of our extended family. It will be a fun week and I will share any funny stories.

Love,

Mom

Welcome Aboard Little One!!

Dear Baby,

Today I found out I am pregnant! I am overjoyed and can barely contain my giggles.

I have been off birth control for a year and three months now and we have been "trying" to conceive for about four months now. I have been feeling nauseated and not myself for four days, so I decided to test this morning when I got up. Dad was still asleep, which is just the way I wanted it because I wanted to surprise him if I was pregnant and I didn't want him to think I was overreacting about my symptoms if it was negative. So I took the test and within twenty seconds both lines were present, meaning I am pregnant!!

I took some pictures of the test and made it into a surprise for dad. I didn't tell him this morning when he got up. I had plans to meet a friend for lunch and run some errands, so while I was out I got some balloons and the pictures of the test developed. I had made a picture frame a few weeks ago, getting prepared because I knew it would happen one day. I put the picture of the positive test in the frame I made and wrote " 'positive' proof that in 9 months you will be a GREAT DAD!" I tied the balloons around it and waited for him to come home.



He walked in the front door and I walked in behind him. He saw the display and said, "Is this true?" I was shaking like crazy and was so nervous for his reaction, although we knew it would happen sooner or later, I just was nervous to see his response. Then I started crying. As you will find out, I am a very emotional person. We laughed a lot and I kept asking him, "what do you think?" He looked excited, but still really shocked. I think he is just as happy as I am but doesn't know how to show it yet. I can't wait for you to come join us in this world.

I am approximately 4 1/2 weeks today. I read in my book that you "are the size of a poppy seed but much sweeter." So small, yet so many changes are happening. Right now I am calculating that you should be coming to join us around March 20th, 2009.

We told Grandma and Grandpa Fratto today and Aunt Megan. We gave them a binki wrapped in tissue paper in a bag. Megan opened it and yelled, "I knew it!! Shanda's pregnant!" They were all so excited. I cried again. They were almost as excited as I was. You will love them so much, they are such great people and will probably spoil you rotten!

Love you,

Mom