Sick baby

Hi B,

You have had a runny nose for 4 or 5 days now and last night you started getting congested in your throat. When I got up with you last night you were very congested and sounded miserable. I gave you some medicine and you went back to bed. This morning you still sound miserable, but you still got up and was playing and seemed happy. Then you were playing by the computer desk and fell and hit your head. It is going to leave a bruise. I felt so bad. I was sitting right next to you but didn't catch you in time. I feel like a horrible mommy. Especially because you are sick.

You started seeming tired, so I put you in your bed and you cried and it is the worst, saddest cry with your stuffy nose and throat, so I got you up, wrapped you in a warm blanket and you snuggled with me. You kept getting up then laying back down, but it is the most you cuddled for a long time. I sang songs to you and rocked you as you drifted off to sleep. It was so precious. You aren't the kind of baby who likes to fall asleep while we hold you, so it was a great moment for me to rock you to sleep.

You are getting so big so fast.

Thanks for letting me rock you to sleep.

Love,

Mom

Christmas

Dear Bracken,

Your first Christmas has come and gone. You were so incredibly cute and happy all day and you made our Christmas a thousand times more fun than it would have been without you. We had breakfast at our house and lots of people came over (grandpa John, Savannah, Nathan, John, Michael, Grandpa Dave, Grandpa Lane, Megan) we ate and opened presents and enjoyed each other's company. You played and played and played. You didn't open your gifts, but you loved playing with the toys once they were out.

Then you napped and we got ready and went to Nana and Papa's house and opened presents. Then we went to Great Grandma/Grandpa Fratto's house and ate and opened more presents (did I mention how spoiled you are?). Then we went up to Aunt Lindas and visited with so many people there. We ate (yes, again) and you played. You did't nap much all day but you were so happy and just having a ton of fun. Then we tried to put you down for a nap and you screamed and screamed so we got you up. We tried again later and had the same issue. You were just having too much fun playing.

When we left, we went and visited Grandma Maez in the hospital then came home. We had such a busy fun-filled family day. It was awesome and you were so cute!!

Did I mention I dressed you as Santa? You were a hit everywhere we went and you were so flippin cute!! I love you so much. Thanks for being in our lives and being such a fun baby!



I love you,

Merry Christmas!

Mom

Kisses

Hi B,

You do the cutest thing now! You give kisses! You started doing it a week ago and would give me kisses 3-4 times a day when I asked (although I asked about 15 times a day). It is so cute. You just lean forward, with an open mouth. It is so cute and I usually get slobbered on, but it is so worth it! Then for 2 days you decided you didn't want to give any more kisses. Made me so sad, but yesterday you started giving me kisses again! I didn't give up asking and it paid off!

This morning you were in bed with us and you hit my nose with your head and it hurt so I asked for a kiss to make it better and you crawled over to me and gave me a kiss. So cute! I love you bug!

Love,

Mom

P.S. I think you are starting to understand us a lot. When you are in your high chair and I ask if you want water, you always look at your cup. I can also say where is dad or where is mom and you look for us. You wave when I tell you to and you even said "bye-bye" the other day while waving, although it wasn't exactly pronounced correctly. I love to see you learn!

Santa

Hi B,

Yesterday we took you to visit Santa. I was so excited to see how you would react. I figure you like pretty much everyone these days, so you would be fine, but you weren't too thrilled about me leaving you alone on his lap. Soon as I walked away to go see the pictures you started crying for me. When I walked closer to you, you were fine and started touching his clothes and beard. Your picture is cute but you can see your face is partially red because you were crying. You are getting so big and I can't wait to spend this Christmas with you. You are going to love it!




Love you!

Mom

Changes

Dear Bracken,

Sometimes life is hard and sometimes changes need to be made. I have a lot of decisions to make for us right now and it is really hard knowing what would be the best for you. Whatever happens and where ever life takes us, I just want you to know that I love you more than anything and would do anything in this world for you.I promise you that I will do my very best to make your life happy and complete. I love you so much. I never knew I could love something this much and I love you more and more everyday. I don't know how that is possible but I do.

Love,

Mom

Crawling

Dear B,

So you have decided to join the crawling babies club! You have been army crawling and trying to crawl for months now, but as of last Saturday you are officially a crawler! Such a big boy!!

Don't grow up too fast, please.

Love,

Mom

Love You!

Hi Bracken,

I am going to be working some nights and Saturdays the next couple weeks. I worked my first evening tonight and although it was only about 2 hours later then I usually see you, I missed you. I got home and you were playing with dad in our room. Soon as you saw me you smiled and was talking up a storm! You crawled right over to me and climbed up me and smiled and hugged me. It was so cute. I could tell you were happy to see me! It just made my day. You make me feel so loved! I hope I make you feel as loved as you make me feel!

Thanks!

Love,

Mom

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi B,

Today is your first Thanksgiving! I am so excited to share it with you! We usually go around to Thanksgiving dinner at All of your grandparent's houses and visit with all sides of our family, but this year they are all at the same time so we are going to take it easy and spend it with your Nana and Papa Fratto. They are having a big dinner at their house. We may go visit Grandma Maez and my aunts and cousins, but not sure yet.

This Thanksgiving I am so thankful. I am mostly thankful that I have had the opportunity this year to become a mom and to have you in my life. It is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love being your mom! I hope to fill your life with happiness and teach you how to be thankful for everything we have.

I love you so much B!! Have a wonderful first Thanksgiving!!

Love,

Mom

P.S. You are still too little to eat most of the food, but I will try to give you as much food as I can, since that is such a great part of Thanksgiving. I will also let you try the Oreo Pie! MMMMM my favorite!

Catching Up

Dear B,

Hi baby. I have so much to catch up on. I haven't written to you for a while and you are getting so big! Here are some of the fun things you can do:

1. Say Mama and Dada. You technically said dada first but when you said it you didn't understand what dada was. I am thinking now you are starting to understand what both dada and mama mean. It is so cute when you say, "mama mama mama" and I grab you and you stop. So adorable!

2. You are crawling fairly well. You can crawl 4-8 "steps" before you fall and start army crawling.

3. You make all sorts of funny noises in your mouth! You growl, gurggle and pant like a dog.

4. YOu can stand your self up and try to do this on EVERYTHING!

5. I can now spike and mohawk your hair. It is so cute!

6. You can wave hi and bye to people, when you want. You can, but don't always do it.

7. We have started you on a reading program and you seem to like to watch it. You don't like to read the books or do the reading cards, but you do like the video.

I love you B! Stop growing up so fast! I am going to miss this time!

Happy Halloween

Dear B,

Hi son. You were so cute last night. We didn't go trick-or-treating because you are much too small to be eating candy. We dressed you up, though. You were cute. Then you answered the door with us and helped pass out candy. You were in a great mood and I think overall you had a great first Halloween. Here are some pictures. You made a cute monkey!










Love,

Mom

Sitting Up

Dear B,

You are getting so big! Over the last couple of days you have mastered sitting up. Now everytime I go to get you in your crib you are sitting up. Yesterday I went to check on you when you were napping and it looks as though you had sat up, then fallen over and fell asleep. You were holding onto your feet and your head was between them. Looked very uncomfortable, but very silly.



You have been doing great on our second round of crying it out. You usually don't cry for more than 15 minutes and many times you have went to sleep without crying at all. I wonder if maybe you weren't ready the first time we tried this because this time is going much better. You are such a champ.

I love you,

Mom

Sitting Up

Hi B,

Last night was a rough night for you. You got up 10 times in the 7 1/2 hours you were in bed and it took dad and me about an hour to even get you down. One time I put you down then took a break while you calmly laid in your crib. When I went in there to get you to try to get you to sleep again, you were sitting up. You just looked at me like nothing was out of the ordinary. It was so cute. You have been trying to sit up for a week or two now but can't quite figure out how to do it. You can get almost completely on your butt while leaning on one hand, but you can't figure out how to get that hand out without falling over. I love watching you think things through.

You still can't figure out how to crawl, but that doesn't stop you from getting around. You army crawl and pull yourself around with your arms. You move quickly and know how to go in and out of different rooms now. When I get ready for work in the mornings I put you in our room to play and within a few minutes you are in the bathroom. You are so cute!!

Love you,

Mom

Great Grandpa Mattsson

Dear B,

Yesterday was your Great Grandpa Mattsson's funeral. A very sad day. I am so sad that you will not grow to know him. He played a huge role in my life and taught me many of the values I have today. I give him and grandma Mattsson credit for helping me be the responsible, knowledgable person I am today. They were the kindest, most generous people I ever knew and probably will ever know. Great Grandpa gave you 1,000 just for being born and it was a great start for a savings account for you.

We last visited him about a week before he passed. You were in a great mood and played with him. He was wearing an oxygen mask and you kept trying to pull it off. You also played with his watch. He held you for a minute and I could see that he really loved you and was so proud that you were his first great-grandchild (and only that he lived to see). He was so proud to have you. Everytime we visited he told every nurse, fellow resident, other strangers he didn't even know, anyone and everyone to come and see you. He always made sure to tell them who you were and that you were his great grandson. He sure did love you.

You have lost 3 great grandparents in the last 13 months.

Really unfortunate that you won't get to know them. I will do my best to pass down all the knowlege they gave to me. I know I probably won't do as good of a job, but I will try.


Love you,

Mom

Bananas

Dear B,

You're not so fond of bananas.

Surprising.

Love,

Mom

Family & 6 month pics

Hi B,

Right now you are napping. You have been so fun today! Yesterday we went and had your 6 month pictures, and our family pictures taken. Here is one of you that we can see already. We have to wait for the others, and patience is NOT one of my strenghts. I want to see them! You are so cute and you did such a good job. The first 40 minutes you sat and posed and were so good. Then you were done and so ready to go home, but we still got some more shots. You are such a gorgeous baby! I love those cheeks of yours!



Love, Mom

Solid Food

Hi B,

The past week we have been trying some food with you. For the most part, you love rice cereal. It is very bland, but you eat it up. Last night we tried green beans. You gave them a fair shot and ate about seven bites before gagging. Two bites in a row you gagged, so I stopped feeding you. Tonight we tried cereal mixed with the green beans and that didn't seem so bad, but you still weren't thrilled about the beans. We will keep trying. Two more nights, then its onto Summer Squash.

Love,

Mom

6 month visit

So we had your doctor visit last night. I must say you are a stud with shots. You held your breath and turned really red and let out a good scream, then you were fine. You really did a great job last night. You only slept about 30 minutes from 3 to 9 and you were still in a good mood. Here are your stats

Height 26 1/4 inch (45th percentile)
Weight 16 pounds 1 ounce (25th percentile)
Head ?? 1/8 inches (40th percentile)

Now I must admit that I thought you were on the chubby side, but looks like you aren't. I think those cheeks of yours give off a false impression.

We started you on cereal last night and you ate like a champ. You loved it and we made a mess, but you were so cute. In about 3 days we will start you on vegetables and within 2 weeks you should be on 3 meals a day. That should fatten you up a bit. I can't wait to try new veggies with you. I'm so excited and you seem to be too! You loved it and we loved watching you!

Love you baby!

Mom

I'm So Sorry

Dear B,

I'm so sorry!

This morning, as I was getting ready, you were rolling around on the floor in our room, like always. You managed to roll under your bouncer, which is a common occurance. You whine and I pull you out and you continue on your rolling way. This morning when you got stuck, I pulled you out and you started crying. I gave you a hug, put you down, and told you that you were fine. You were happy and continued to roll around some more. When I went in to check on you a few minutes later, I noticed a large scratch down your cheek. It is about two inches long. After examining the bouncer, I found the culprit. The piece of velcro on the bottom. When I pulled you out today you must of just been positioned wrong and rubbed your face on it.

I know it is just a scratch and will heal in a few days, but it is the biggest scratch you have had so far and I feel like I am to blame. I know how annoying those scratches can be and they can sting. I'm sorry B! I love you. Thanks for still loving me and playing with me this morning. I didn't mean to scratch you!

Love,

Mom

6 months!

Good Morning B,

You turned 6 months old yesterday! I can't believe you have been in our lives for that long! You are turning out to be such an amazing boy! You have new developments all the time. You now smile with your tongue sticking out, which is soooo cute! You also went camping with us over Labor Day and did such a great job camping and in the car! It is so nice being with you and you are so much happier now than you were when you were newborn, and that makes me so happy!

We have your doctor appointment tomorrow. I can't wait to see how much you weigh and how long you are. You have to get your immunizations, which I think I hate as much as you do. I am going to talk to the doctor about two main things. 1. Eating solid foods. I think we will be starting you on baby cereal this week and I am so excited to start feeding you real food. I think you will like it. You always watch me eat and are so interested in it. 2. Your sleeping, or lack of sleeping. The last two weeks you have been waking up 6 or so times a night and you fight going back to sleep. You scream and kick and moan and groan and soon as we put you down, you wake up and start all over again. You were doing so great at nights until recently and we need to figure out what is going on so dad and I can get some sleep!

I love having you in our lives. You are such a great addition for us and made us into a family. You are so amazing.

I love you,

Mom

Been a While

Hi B,

It has been a while since I have written you. You are seriously growing up so fast...too fast. I love that you are bigger because you are such a happier baby most of the time and not nearly as ornery, unless you are sleepy. You are also coming upon so many milestones and it is fun to watch. I don't like that you are bigger though because my little baby is growing up.

Last night you slept from 730 until 510 without getting up. This is great for you. You have been doing much better with your sleep but you always wake up between 430 and 530 ready to play, which is way too early for mom! When I wetn to get you this morning you had completely escaped your swaddle, kicked away from the anti rolling things, rolled, turned to your belly, and turned 180 degrees! You are getting so big! You are rolling both ways fairly regularly, you love sitting up in the bath and are figuring out how to splash. You figured out how to turn yourself in a cirlce, which is fun to watch.You try to kick and crawl when on your belly, and can put your binky back in your mouth about 60% of the time. You love playing with your feet, being held, and going outside. You love going on walks and being in your stroller. You try to drink from adult cups and are doing so so so much better in the car. You rarely cy unless you are tired.

You are getting so big and I love seeing all your developments!

Love you,

Mom

So BIG

Hi B,

Hi sweetheart. Right now you are sleeping. Taking a nice nap. You are doing very well lately with the sleeping. Nights are on and off, sometimes you get up once and sometimes 3 times. Not ever twice though. You go down for naps easily, usually and they have increased from 40 minutes to about an hour and a half, for the most part. You still are having trouble staying asleep on your own after that 40 minute mark, but I can usually coax you back to sleep. Good job, keep working on it and learning and soon we will both be able to sleep through the night! I can't wait!

You are getting so big. You are sitting up by yourself for up to a minute at a time, you love playing with toys and yesterday you found your feet and now like to stick them in your mouth. You can hold your own bottle fairly well, can go 4 hours between feedings during the day and I swear you grew during your first nap today! You are so big and so cute! You are learning so much lately and are so much fun to interact with.

Everyone always tells me how much they love your cheeks : )

Love you,

Mom

Cry It Out III

Dear B,

I think that I have underestimated you. I thought this whole cry it out would be terrible for the first week, but you are doing very well. You have fallen asleep with less than 10 minutes of crying for every nap, except for the one you are trying to take now, which has been the only one so far, in two days, that you have protested. For most naps you have cried less than 3 minutes or not at all! The hard part is you don't sleep long enough and the program I am follwing says to let you cry for 25 minutes before getting you up from your nap if you sleep less than an hour, so you are usually crying after your nap and have only cried yourself back to sleep once so far.

Last night you went down with no crying and slept until 230 in the morning. I got up and fed you and then you slept straight through until 6. That is a good night for you, but you woke up still very tired. I wish we could get you to sleep one more hour in the morning and I think you would be much happier. I can't believe how well night 2 went for you.

Overall it has went much better than planned, but it is still breaking my heart listening to you cry. Please fall asleep baby.

Love you,

Mom

Cry It Out Part II

Dear B,

Pretty rough night. That first time you fell asleep it didn't last long. Here is what last night looked like:

6:57 Bed
cried for 35 min
slept for 27 min
cried for 37 min
slept for 12 min
cried for 13 min
slept 1 hour 4 min
cried for 10 min
slept for 13 min
cried for 8 min
slept for 13 min
cried for 24 min
slept for 59 min
up for 21 min (cried for 10 then ate)
slept for 69 min
cried for 11 min (I swaddled you at this point)
slept 4 hours 12 min

Wow! What a rough night for both of us!

After I fed you at 12:30 I gave in a little and swaddled you because you just couldn't hold those hands still and I figured that is what was waking you after you fell asleep each time. And it worked because you slept til 6 with no more wakings, no second feeding, no binki and no swing. Good job, bud!

Now today we are going to do the same thing with naps. Hope you start catching on and I hope I'm not confusing you too bad figuring out the swaddle/binki situation. I am thinking I will swaddle you and binki when you need it.

Good luck today!

Love,
Mom

Crying it Out

Dear B,

We are starting something called 'The Sleep Sense Program' tonight. Unfortunately it is going to include a lot of crying on your part, and most likely mine too. Your dad and I love you so much and we do whatever we can to help you, include helping you fall asleep at night. This includes me feeding and burping you, getting you in your pjs and changing your diaper, then swaddling you, giving you your binki, and rocking you somewhere between 5 and 30 minutes. Then we put you in your crib and pray to the sleeping gods that you will stay asleep. Its about a 50/50 chance that you will stay asleep until you are ready to get up and eat at night. If you do wake up, then we go in there and rock you again. We repeat this anywhere from 1 - 5 times a night and it takes between 20 minutes and an hour and a half to get you to sleep at night. This is very stressful for us and wastes a lot of your sleep time. So, it is time you train yourself to fall asleep. Here we go.

This is what tonight is going to look like: I put you to bed and I am going to go check on you every ten minutes. I will stay in there about one minute each time and try to calm you by talking to you and patting your belly, rubbing your face, etc. Hopefully you won't cry for too long. When you get up at night I will let you cry for 10 minutes before going in there, in hopes that you will be able to put yourself back to sleep. Then I will go in and talk to you and try to calm you down until you go back to sleep. I still plan on feeding you once, which eliminates one feeding a night. I really hope this works.

I put you to bed at 6:57 and you laid quietly for 5 minutes then started to cry. It slowly grew into a scream. My first time "checking" on you I stayed for 9 min instead of 1, but you are much calmer with me in there, so I will probably be in there half the time with you. It's so hard to listen to you cry when I know I can rock you and put you to sleep, but hopefully this is better for both of us in the long run.

It's 7:26 and you stopped crying. Crossing my fingers. Nope. That lasted one minute.7:32 I went in and gave your binki and I think you may fall asleep. You are very tired and your eyes are closed. I can't imagine how this feels for you. Were suppose to take away all sleep props, which for you includes: nursing and/or rocking to sleep, swaddling, and your binki (and your swing, which I eliminated two days ago and you are doing ok without). I dont think I can stick with the no binki part. Lets see how you do using it and as long as I don't have to get up and give it to you at night it will be ok to fall asleep with, I think. Who knows.

I think your asleep. 35 minutes. Not too bad.

Love you!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom

Swimming

Hi B,

Yesterday was your official first time swimming. We went once before but I only put your feet in. Yesterday you went all the way in and did a pretty good job. You didn't love it and cried on and off the whole time but you lived with it. You seemed intrigued by the water yet unhappy about having to be in it. It probably didnt help that you were really tired, but overall you did a good job. You even kicked a lot! Maybe next summer we will start some swimming lessons for you.

Love,

Mom

Happy 4 Month Birthday!

Dear B,

Happy 4 month birthday! So far you have had a great day!

Love,

Mom

4 months

Hi B,

Today we had your 4 month check-up. Here are your stats:
Weight 14lbs 10 oz - 50th percentile.
length 24 1/2 inches - 25th percentile.
Head 41.7 cm - 40th percentile.

Last check-up you were in the 75th percentile so you haven't been growng as much or as fast but you seem to be growing so much every day! We are going to attempt to wean you from your medicines over the next two weeks and I hope you do ok without them. The doc also gave me the ok to have you "cry it out" to teach yourself to go back to sleep and put yourself to sleep. I plan on starting that in a couple weeks when I'm off work again and I am NOT excited for that, but I think it is the best thing for you! And hopefully it will make nap times less stressful for us because you scream and kick and pinch almost every time I try to put you down for a nap and half the time you wake up soon as I put you down or dont sleep more than about 20 minutes. I think it will do wonders for both of us!

I also weaned you from your swaddle the last few days. I think you are doing ok without it but naps have been difficult. You move too much and on Saturday you fell out of your swing. Dad and I were in the other room and heard a "thump" followed by screaming. We instantly knew what had happened. You couldnt move so much with the swaddle but now you can. So now I buckle you in but that usually wakes you up and last night I got up and you were still in your swing but all the way bent over sideways. So, I think the swing is the next soother to break. We can use it during the day when you are awake, but not to sleep in (the way they are meant to be used). My heart dropped when you fell out of your swing. I felt like throwing up the rest of the day and it made me feel soo bad. I'm really sorry I let that happen and I wasn't more careful with you. I wont let it happen again.

I love you!

Love,

Mom

Rolling!

Hi B,

Right now you are sitting on my lap as I type this. You just had a milestone, or so I think. You rolled over! You can only roll from your belly to your back and not from your back to your belly but you did it! I put you on your belly, which you hate so I don't do it nearly as often as we should. Typically babies your age should have at least 15 minutes of tummy time a day and you usually don't have any but sometimes get up to 5 minutes, which is one reason I was so surprised you rolled. Here's what happened. I put you on your tummy on my bed and then went to the side of the bed to put on my lotion. You were grunting and not really very happy but not crying so I let you lay there. About 20 seconds later you stopped grunting so I looked over at you and you were on your back! So noone was looking to whitness your first roll. So sad but I wanted to see it, so I put you back on your belly and after a few minutes of being fussy you rolled again! This time I got it on camera! YAY. Go BRACKEN!! I think you hate your belly so much that you rolled off of it and will probably not learn to roll onto it for a long time, because why would you need to if you hate being on your belly so much? Sounds logical to me, but I am proud of you and love seeing how big you are getting!

Love you, little roller!





Love,
Mom

Time Together

Hi B,

I'm excited to spend the day with you. I haven't seen you much the past two days and really missed you. You are napping now but when you get up we are going to go for a walk and play outside. I can't wait.

Love, Mom

Best Day Ever

Hi B,

Yesterday was the 4th of July - Your first 4th of July. We started our morning with you talking up a storm. You talked and talked all day long! We went up to the park by our house for their flag ceremony and breakfast and you were happy the entire time! You just watched and enjoyed.

Then we came home for a nap, which you barely slept but were still talking and enjoying yourself. We went to Grandpa Johns house and saw all our family there. Then we came home to nap again, which you made up for the lack of naps all day and slept for 2 1/2 hours. I was so suprised that you were so happy and talky all day without your regular naps. I just kept telling dad how surprised I was that you were so happy. You then went to the store with us and stayed up til 9. I got you to sleep and then we went up to the neighbors to enjoy fireworks. They woke you up immediately so I took you out of your stroller to watch. You had no interest in them but just sat on my lap and watched all the people. Then you fell asleep.

Just like that. Such a happy happy day for you. The best day you have ever had and I enjoyed every second of it with you! I was so happy and had such high hopes of happy days to come.

Then you woke up screaming today and have spent a good portion of today with blood curdling screams. So sad. Maybe we can try again tomorrow.

I love you! Happy 4th of July!

Love, Mom

Cuter Everyday!

Hi B,

You are home sleeping right now with dad while I am at work. Today is my last day of work for the summer, so I will get to spend most of my time with you over the next 5 weeks. I am excited. You are getting so big and getting so cute! You have always been cute but I feel like you are cuter and cuter every day!

You are doing new thing all the time. Most recently, you have started putting your right hand in a fist (which you have done all your life) then staring at it intently. You have been doing this the last few days and you do it on and off all day. Then you have been putting your feet up in the air when we lay you on your back. Straight up. It is silly. You have been giggling a lot for dad which I absolutely love hearing! It is the cutest giggle ever!




I got another 150 or so pictures of you developed yesterday. We have close to 400 or so now. I get a little camera happy but I can't help myself. You are always so cute and I want to capture all the precious moments.

I love you!

Mom

Singing

Hi B,

I want to share a little moment we had today. I was rocking you, trying to get you to sleep tonight and you were fussy. You turn your head a lot and grunt. I started to sing you some songs (twinkle twinkle little star, the wheels on the bus, itsy bitsy spider, etc). After about three songs you opened your eyes, stopped fussing and started "singing" with me. It was so adorable. You did this for 5 or so songs. I stopped singing and you closed your eyes and was asleep within 5 minutes. You even stayed asleep, which you hardly ever do. It was so cute.

We also went to the store today and you were a little fussy before we went. I put you in the front carrier and faced you out for the first time. You didn't fuss one time in the store. You loved looking around at everything. Even though you were tired you just enjoyed our trip to the store. You are so darling!

I love you,

Mom

3 months!

Hi B!

Today is your 3 month birthday. I sang to you this morning and you started crying, but I am assuming it is because you were in the car, not because my singing voice is extremely horrible (although it is). You were very smiley and happy this morning and managed to spit up so much that I had to change my clothes before we left this morning.

You are getting so big! You are 15 pounds 2 ounces and you try to sit up on your own. It looks like you are trying to do baby sit ups. You pull your head up and it really looks like you are trying to sit up. If I sit you up you just fall over, but you like to sit up when I hold you up. You are still not sleeping great, but better than you were. You get up 3-4 times a night on average. Not too bad but I still can't wait until you sleep through the night. You still hate the car and cry every single time we are in the car.

You are doing very well at Krista's house and I think you love all the kids and all the noise. You are always happy when I go pick you up. I think you are very entertained there.

I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

Miss You

Dear B,

I miss you lots today.

Love,

Mom

Back to Work

Dear Bracken,

What a long week. I had to go back to work this week and leave you with the sitter. I think it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. It is really difficult for me to not be in control of life and knowing you spend 8 hours a day with other people, I feel helpless as to what you are doing and your safety is no longer in my hands. This is really difficult for me. I know I am somewhat over protective and probably always will be. You will have to be patient with me, but it is hard to leave you with anyone for that amount of time. I dont want you watching too much tv or other kids holding you when they aren't being supervised or kids touching you with all their kid germs (which they all do the second you walk in that door) or people bugging you when you sleep or you getting sunburned on too long of a walk or you not getting enough attention (I doubt this will be a problem, everyone there absolutely loves you). There is just so much not in my control and so many things that I wish people were more careful with, but who am I to tell them how to live their lives. I am doing my best to ease up and let it be, but it is tough for me.

You seem to be happy there and have had a great week, so I feel great about that, but I still miss you so much and can't wait to see you at 4 each day. It is miserable at work without you and I have been away from you four times more this week then your previous 10 weeks all put together. I'm struggling with this, but I think it will get easier as time goes on and you get bigger and aren't quite as fragile. I hope it gets easier (at least I'm not crying when I leave the sitters like the first two days). I just don't feel like I see you enough and you have been going to bed so early that I don't get any quality time with you. It sucks.

Love you and miss you!

Mom

Memorial Day

Hi Bracken,

Hi honey. Right now you are napping in your swing after quite the weekend. We went to Moab this weekend, your first camping trip. It was quite the adventure. I was worried about you and the 4 hour car ride, but I admit you did pretty darn good. Fussy on and off on the way down there, but not too bad. We set up a huge tent and you had your own little swing nook. You weren't a big fan of the new swing I bought and took, but you slept in it pretty good.

The second day there you were fussy ALL day and way worse than you have been for weeks. That was stressful and you didn't nap all day. We went on a hike and dad took you in our carrier. It was very cute. You did well on the hike too and tried to nap a little.

On Sunday you did much better and was much happier. We went for a few car rides as dad took us around to show us the place and we went for another hike. You were happy all day and did such a good job. When we got back from our hike I took you into our tent and the wind started blowing. Huge gusts, the strongest wind storm I had ever been in. It took lots of tents right out of the ground and blew them around. It blew the top of our tent so hard that it was laying down on top of us. I laid on top of you to cover you from all the dust blowing in. You actually seemed to enjoy the wind and all the noise it was making. Then their was a huge downpour of rain, which you also seemed to like. We decided to come home on Sunday night and you slept the whole way home. You did such a great job! I am so happy when you have good days and are happy yourself!

I want to share one story I'm sure you will hear when you get bigger.WHile on our hike, we took you down to a large swimming hole. I gave you to dad to dip your feet in the water. He took you and the instant your feet touched the water you let out a blood curdling scream. Yeah the water was cold, but you didn't even think about not crying. It was pretty amazing how fast you let out that scream. We all laughed and not because you were crying, but the whole situation was pretty funny. I'm hoping you take to swimming pools better than you took to that swimming hole, because I would love to go swimming with you this summer.

Thanks for being such a precious baby! I love you so much!

Love,

Mom

2 month appointment

Hi Bracken,

Today we went to your two month appointment. You were actually in a good mood. You cried very little on the way there and you don't particularly like car rides and you were gooing to me while we were waiting and its the first time that you didn't cry when then nurse had to listen to your heart and weigh you. Good job bud!

Then comes the doctor. She jokingly said she would give you up for adoption and you started crying. It was actually pretty funny. Then you didn't want to stop. She did your evaluation and we talked (well tried to talk, but hard for me to concentrate when I'm trying to get you to stop crying) about you and how you are doing. She upped your prevacid to a full pill each night instead of half. You still take Axid twice a day and I give you gas drops during every feeding that you don't take other meds. I hate that you have to take so many medicines and I hate that I'm putting all that in your little precious body. I must say you have been better the last week and a half, for the most part, then you have been (besides two really bad days).

I finally calmed you down and then comes the nurse again. She was thre to give you your immunization shots. There were three shots with six different immunizations. Now I know that no kids like shots and I knew you wouldn't but it was so sad to hear you cry again. You were screaming and it was so heart breaking! Then she gave you the oral vaccination and you kept coughing because you were trying to scream and oh it was so sad. I hate to see you cry.

You fell asleep right after and slept most the way home. We got home and I fed you and held you a while then you slept for 3 hours, got up to eat and are back down for another nap. I think the shots are making you sleepy. Poor guy. When you got up to eat your cry was so sad sounding and you sound so miserable.

We are going to get you a G I Tract test to see how the acid reflux is doing and to see if that is the problem and reason why you are so fussy. We will see how that goes Thursday. I hope its not too miserable!

I hope you are feeling ok though and don't hate me too bad for taking you in to get your shots.

Love you,

Mom

Bathtime

Dear Bracken,

You are finally starting to like baths. Maybe just tolerate them. You no longer cry (not even when I wash your hair, which, by the way is falling out and makes me so sad because it is so cute. I am finding hair in your swing and bed. You still have some that is about 3/4 of an inch at the base of your head but the rest is really thin and you are losing more of it everyday!) but you don't fully enjoy it either. I have some tricks. You like to have the room all steamy and it helps if you have your binki. I use two washcloths to cover you and one to wash with. You like this. I hope you grow to like them more as you get bigger.

Love,

Mom

Getting Better!!

Dear Bracken,

Hi sweetheart! You are diong well. We are still spending lots of time together and I love it! You seem to be feeling a little better! You are sleeping so much better during the day. You usually get one really good 3-5 hour nap in and nights (besides last night...in which you got up 7 times!!) have been pretty good. I think this helps with your fussiness. Although you are still fussy on and off all day, you are doing much better! YAY!

I put you in your own bed on Sunday night for the first time. You are 8 weeks old and it is so sad having you in your own room. You are so small in that big crib and I feel like you are so far away from me. You slept well your first night in there but not so great last night. You actually just got up for the day and I am holding you right now. Yes it is 2 in the afternoon! That shows me how rough the night was on you too! You went to bed at 840 and slept til 2. That is crazy, son!! I was starting to miss you and almost woke you up an hour ago so I could play with you, but I decided to let you sleep.

I love you and just wanted to let you know how things were going. Hopefully you are starting to feel lots better with the gas medicine and two acid medicines we have you on!

Love you!

Mom

Grandma Wootton

Dear Bracken,

Hi son. Today has been a sad day. We attended your Great Grandma Wootton's funeral. She passed away on May 2nd from a brain tumor. They just recently discovered that she had this brain tumor and by then it was too late to do anything about it. I am sad that you will grow up not being able to know either of your great grandmas that were around when I got pregnant. They were both such wonderful women and would have loved getting to know you and watch you grow up. You will miss out on two wonderful women in your life now. I know that Great Grandma Wootton would have absolutely loved you. You got to meet her last week, in the hospital, but unfortunately you won't remember her as you get older. Loss is hard and I will always be here for you when we lose what we love because it is good to have a shoulder to cry on. I love you.

Love,

Mom

Left You

Dear Bracken,

I left you with a sitter for the first time today. You are six weeks and two days old and I have never been away from you. I haven't even left you alone with dad. I had a doctor appointment yesterday and you kept crying and I felt bad for the doctor who was trying to keep you quiet while doing my check up. Today I had a dentist appointment and thought it probably is a good idea to leave you with someone so that doesn't happen again. Aunt Katrina offered to watch you since she is in town.

I took you to her hotel and left you with her for two hours. I hurried and thought about you the entire time I was gone. I was so sad to leave you. I know in a few weeks when I go back to work I will have to leave you every day and I am not looking forward to that time. I have a hard time trusting people to take care of you. I also feel bad because you cry and fuss so much and I dont want people getting frustrated with you. But, you survived and did a good job with her. She also did a good job with you and everything was fine. It is just so hard to leave you.

Love,

Mom

Nicknames

Hi Bracken,

So your father and I have come up with quite the variety of names for you for some reason. I call you: Bracken, Bud, Buddy, Baby B, Baby, Sweetheart.

Dad likes Buggers the most but also calls you Baby and Bracken.

I Think it is interesting that we thought so long and hard for a name for you and yet call you so many other things.

I hope I'm not confusing you.

Love,

Mom

Changes

Hi Bud,

So we are making some changes starting today. You don't sleep at all during the day like you should and you get up 4 times a night still to eat. You have been doing better at falling back asleep fast at night (I dont usually have to stay up for over an hour anymore) but its a struggle to get you to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time during the day. All my books say you should be sleeping 1 or 2 hours 4 or 5 times a day and not be up for over 2 hours ever. Well, we need to make some changes. I am going to try The Sleep Sense Program. We are starting today. So far, not so good. You have had a 30 minute nap and a 23 minute nap and have now been sleeping for about 20 minutes. That isn't anywhere near an hour and a half, but I think it will work.

I am no longer going to hold you when you are sleeping (at least not too often) and am going to start a bedtime routine. I am thinking bath, pjs, book and eating. We will see how that works. I know you still need to get up and eat at night, at least for another month or two, but hopefully you can start to go longer between feedings and get more sleep during the day. I really believe that part of your extremely fussy behavior is sleep deprivation. You get overly tired and then fussy and then you can't sleep.

Lets hope it works. It doesn't hurt to try, but you have cried more today than usual, but it's in your best interest, I think. I hope. Lets see how it goes.

Good luck learning how to fall asleep on your own (that's what I read the problem is, you don't know how to soothe yourself to sleep).

Love You!!!

Mom

Doctor Visit

Dear Bracken,

We just got home from the doctor. She thinks you are colic. There is no known cause for colic babies and no cure. It is something you will just grow out of. We are going to try to put you on formula for a week to see if that helps at all. Maybe something I am eating isn't settling well in your belly. I hope it helps. I'm not happy about not being able to breast feed because there are so many health benefits for you and I just want you to be healthy.

You are now in the 75th percentile in weight. You are a big boy! And growing about a pound a week. Such a good eater.

Hope you grow out of this soon...for both of our sakes.

Love,

Mom

One Month

Dear Bracken,

Today is your one month birthday! Wow - where did the time go? It is already going by so fast! You have been really fussy the last few days and last night and the night before you screamed for over three hours. Something is making you not feel well and it makes me really sad. I cried with you for quite a while both days. It is ok to cry. It makes you feel better, so don't ever be ashamed of it. We have a doctor appointment today to see if we can figure out what is wrong. You look so sad and after you've been crying and you fall asleep you make sniffle sounds every few minutes while you sleep. It is so so so sad. I hope we can figure out what is wrong because it is wearing us both out! You are pretty good during the day but afternoons have been hard. This morning you have been fussy though. You don't sleep very long and you aren't eating well. I wish I knew what to do to help you and make your one month birthday better!

I know I've felt happy, sad, frustrated, miserable, sleepy, exhausted, excited, over joyed and so much more this last month, but I have enjoyed every second of it and love having you in my life!

Get feeling better soon.

Love,

Mom

I Love You From Head To Toe!

Dear Bracken,

Hi son. It is amazing how much a mother can love a son. And instantly, from the second you were born I have felt such an amazing amount of love for you. Here are some things I absolutely adore about you:

I love your thin hair, especially the hair on your ears. I love the perfect shape of your ears, your dark grey-blue eyes and your squeaks and snorts that you make. I love when you open your eyes really big and take in all you see around you. I love your pudgy cheeks and your cute chin. I love the way you suck in your bottom lip. I love the "ah ah ah" sound you make when you cry. I love your ten little fingers and ten tiny toes. I love the way you tuck your feet under you when you lay on our belly. I love that you cuddle a lot and love to be held. I love your open-mouthed smiles and your one-sided smirks. I love the way you look in my eyes. I love the way you close your lips together tightly, usually after eating. It is my favorite look of yours! I love your tongue when you stick it out like you are tasting the air. I love how you will grab and hold onto our fingers and how you suck on your binkie so hard that it squeaks. I especially love your hands and how you always lay on them and like them up by your face when you are all cuddled up.

I love you from head to toe!

Love,

Mom

11 Days!

Dear Baby,

Where does the time go? Its already been 11 days! That is just crazy! Things are going really well though. You are now sleeping in your cradle and eating every 3-4 hours, instead of every 1 or 2 hours. Dad has been working and he doesn't get home until late, so you and me have been spending lots of time together, just the two of us. Grandma Mary has been coming over and spending time with you also while mom showers and gets stuff done around the house.

Unfortunately, you caught dad's cold. Mom caught it too. You have such a stuffy nose. It is so sad to see and hear. It wakes you up at nights and I can tell you have a hard time breathing. I hope you get better soon. The doctor said there isn't any medicine I can give you for a stuffy nose that is ok for babies to take, so you are suffering through it. I hope you can fight it and feel better soon. On a better note, I think your gas is much better and your acid reflux isn't as bad. I haven't been giving you your medicine and you are still being such a good baby!

It is weird to think that if you didn't come on your own 11 days ago, I would have been induced last night and you would be born today. I can't even imagine have living the last 11 days without you! I'm very happy that you came when you did and that I know you came on your own and wasn't forced to come. And, I'm certainly happy that we are home today and not in the hospital! Plus we've had spring snow storms all week and I'd much rather be bundled up in our house with you, staying warm and spending time together then having to be giving birth.

You are waking up now...

Love you,

Mom

5 Days!

Dear Bracken,

Hi little guy! You are now 5 days old. The last five days have been a lot of work and little sleep for mom and dad, but worth every second! You are such a cute little man and such a miracle. You have had a doctor appointment and you are already gaining weight. Way to go! You are quite fussy and we are trying to figure out what is wrong. We are thinking gas or heart burn. It breaks my heart to see you cry and you cry quite a bit. Today we had to go get some lab work done and you had to give up some of your blood. It is testing for Jaundice. Your first test scored really low and put you at low risk for developing it, but you are beginning to go a little yellow and the whites of your eyes are slightly yellow. I hope it comes back ok. I should find out in a couple hours.

Other than that, we have spent most of our time hanging out at home. You, dad, and me. We haven't had many visitors and its been kind of nice just spending time as a family. Dad went back to work today so last night and today it has just been the two of us and although I am exhuausted, it is nice being able to be with you.

I hope your first 5 days have been happy, even though I don't think you feel well. I hope I am doing an ok job at this mommy business. I am certainly trying to do all I can for you.

I love you baby,

Mom

Welcome!!

Dear Bracken,

You are finally here and well worth the wait!! I can't stop staring at you! You are the cutest thing I have ever seen! You decided to join us on March 15th 2009, weighing 7 lbs 13 ounces and was 18 inches long. You are healthy and seemingly happy. You love to be cuddled up with mom and dad and scream when we put you down. You are having a rough time sleeping since we can't put you down and therefore, we are having a rough time sleeping. But you are worth every second of lost sleep!

It is so amazing what the human body can do and how you grew inside me and are now here in our world! You are so adorable and amazing! I love you and would do anything in my power for you. It breaks my heart to hear you cry and I am amazed at how I could fall so deeply in love with someone so quickly. My life changed over night in such a spectacular way! Thank you for joining our family. I already can't imaging life without you.

I love you so much!!

Love,
Mom

39 plus Weeks

Dear Baby,

I am still waiting for you. I think I am somewhat patient, but others may think different. I do want you to stay in there as long as you need to in order to be born happy and healthy, but I am also very uncomfortable and would love for you to come now so we can start our little family. I am getting very anxious to see you and am getting more and more nervous everyday about the labor part of you coming. I will be so relieved when you are here and healthy.

Based on the doctors office, you are due in two days. Based on the hospital date, you are due in six. Either way, it is about time for you to come! I have a doctor appointment today and I am anxious to see what he says about you and if my body is getting ready...or not...which is what he has been telling me.

Well, I love you and have been thinking about you and talking to you a lot lately! Can't wait to meet you!

Love,
Mom

37 Weeks

Hi Baby,

Today I am 37 weeks! I am so excited that the time is getting close to see you! You are moving around like crazy and love to push on my bladder and kick in my ribs! I love feeling you, but it gets very uncomfortable. 37 weeks is considered full term and safe to have your baby, so therefore, feel free to come anytime! I am ready for you and so excited! Dad is very excited too. He talks to you through my belly and tells you he loves you. It is very cute. We can't wait for your arrival. I only have two days left of conferences, then I will really be anxious for you to be here! I don't want you to come before you are ready, but I am ready when you are!

Love you,

Mom

Name Letters

Hi Baby,

So I finally bought letters that spell your name, painted them, and hung them on the wall. Well, dad hung them on the wall for me, but they are cute. I hope you like them. Maybe they will help you learn to spell your name faster since it is a long name! I can't wait until you are here! 5 1/2 weeks until your due date, but I may see you earlier if you decide to join us sooner!





Love you,

Mom

Like your name?

Hi Baby,

You are growing so much. You move around a ton in my belly and my entire stomach moves. You are getting big and much stronger. You seem to like to kick up in my ribs and that kind of hurts and is very uncomfortable. I also don't think you like it when I am sitting. You prefer standing or laying, I believe, because you probably have more room that way. I can't wait to see you and have you here with us! I am getting really big and everyone thinks you will be here much earlier than expected, but we will see. I want you to stay in there as long as you need to, to make sure you are fully developed.

So, for the exciting news, I think we have a name for you. It's the first name we started with and after numerous times changing it, I think we are back with it. It is Bracken Shane Wootton. Dad had a best friend named Shane that passed away about 6 years ago, therefore your middle name. One of the students in 5th grade at my school is named Bracken and I liked that name a lot when I heard it, which is where we got your first name. This is not for sure yet, but it is something dad and I both agree on. Our other two choices for first names were Jaxon, but it is so common now and after we started thinking that we noticed tonz of little boys with that name so we ruled that one out. The other was Trexton, which I really like, but Trex is a type of decking material and dad thinks it would be weird to call you that (well and a lot of other people mentioned that too, but I really liked it). I hope you like your name and I hope it fits you!

Love You,

Mom

PiCtUrEs

Hi Baby,

We got some pictures of you today! We did a 3D ultrasound. You are such a cutie! The pictures aren't great, but it was so fun seeing you move all around. We felt really bad for you when you had both hands and your foot up by your head and the placenta is pushed into your face and the imbilical cord is up by your mouth. You look very cramped in there and you must be very uncomfortable. But the good news is you are so cute! There is much more to life then looks, but you are sure a cutie!


You weigh 4 pounds and 2 ounces, which is on the big side. You should be about 3 pounds 8 ounces right now. I hope you aren't too big of a baby when you are born. Maybe I should lay off the ice cream? Nah...we both like it too much! You were moving all around in there and you made some very sad and mad faces. Then the lady was poking at you, trying to get you to move so she could get a good picture and you started kicking back. Funny. You were opening and closing your eyes and you stuck out your tongue. I was loving every minute of it! Here are some cute pictures of you! (You will come to see that I am kind of a picture fanatic. You will definitely be used to the camera!)



So Squished!
Chubby Cheeks!

You're definitely a boy!

Look at that chin...

Your cute little hand by your face.

Hiccup, Hiccup

Dear Baby,

You had the hiccups for the first time yesterday. There have been a few times I have wondered but haven't really been sure. Yesterday I am positive you had hiccups. It was almost like a kick, but not as strong and it was constant, every second or so for 6 or 7 minutes. Dad was by me and could feel them too. It was kind of fun for me to feel them.

Today is New Year's Day. This is the year you will be born, and therefore I know it will be a great year! You are going to make every holiday and every special occasion so much better than it would be without you. Between now and March 15th, when you are due, I have a lot of work to do! We have two baby showers family are going to have for you and dad and I are going to take a parenting class. I need to buy a ton of things to prepare for your arrival and I'm still waiting on our rocking chair to come in. I also want to read some parenting books to make sure I'm as prepared as possible to take care of you the best I can! I can't wait to see you!

Love you,

Mom